Permanent Corporate Vacation
by ProfessorScience
Summary: Selfridge was exiled from Pandora, and he's about to receive the same treatment from his own company. Set years after the movie.


Parker Selfridge was in deep. Not having been out of cryosleep for a matter of hours, he got a very terse and simple message straight from the CEO of the RDA:

"My office, tomorrow 10:00 AM"

-Roger Cadeson

"Oh, I'm screwed." Selfridge said aloud as he stared at his PDA screen. Roger Cadeson was the son of the former CEO of the RDA, and had publicly stated that he had no interest in running the company after his father's death. His father instead delegated control of the company to his brother, and his nephew. Parker had been told very soon after waking up that the RDA was under new management, and the CEO, his brother, and his nephew had died in a maglev accident just a few weeks before the return of the _Venture Star_. As much as Roger didn't want to run the corporation, he was still fourth in line in the will, and received all their shares at the time of their deaths. He now owned 53% of the megacorporation, a majority stockholder.

Selfridge was a crafty man though; he could still get his way out of this. He'd pin the blame on Quaritch, saying he had no control over the renegade Colonel. The administrator got the idea of blaming the hostility of the natives, and he'd exaggerate it if need be. His job was still salvageable, he'd just need to do a little slick talking. After all, Roger was only 25 years old, how much would he know about being head of a company that was more powerful than most industrialized nations?

He closed his PDA as he floated toward the Valkyrie docking port on the ISV, which would take him back down to Earth. He'd take the express and be in NYC in no time. Nobody talked to him when he boarded the transport, and a few of them looked like they were using every ounce of their willpower not to strangle Parker right then and there.

"Atmospheric re-entry shuttle leaving in...30 seconds." the pilot in the front announced. Even if he used his business suave to try and save his job, he wasn't entirely sure that would work. He'd heard nasty things about this kid's temper, and the fact that he hung out with some politicians that lobbied for environmentalist groups didn't sit well with anyone.

"Goddamn blue monkeys." he growled as the shuttle detached itself from the ISV and headed toward the planet below.

* * *

Parker looked at his Rolex one more time. He'd arrived at the office early, but the secretary AI had told him that Mr. Cadeson wouldn't see him until exactly 10. He looked again: 9:59. Parker started tapping his designer shoes and he sat on the leather couch, which was probably worth more than Alice, the RDA HQ Artificial Intelligence.

He looked at his watch one more time as he counted down the seconds until the minute hand hit the top of the clock. Selfridge had to shell out some major cash to get an old-fashioned clockwork watch.

"Mr. Cadeson will see you now." Alice said in her normal monotone voice.

* * *

As he entered the conference room, he couldn't help but notice that there was nobody there. Not one suit sitting in any of the swivel chairs of the long rectangular glass table, and windows to the outside were tinted black, blocking out the football-sized plasma signs that covered the entire city. The only sign that anyone was in the room besides Selfridge was a large chair at the end of the table, facing away from Parker. He didn't say anything, but walked over to the chair to try and start a dialogue.

"Sit down, Mr. Selfridge." stated a voice from the chair.

He complied, choosing a seat close the larger chair Cadeson was sitting in. After a long pause, the chair slowly turned around, showing a young man in a poorly-tailored business suit. His tie was unfastened too, and if Parker didn't know any better, he'd say that the CEO hadn't slept in days. The CEO slammed both his elbows down on the table, while cupping his face in the palms of his hands.

"What happened out there?" he asked, voice slightly muffled by his hands.

Parker had been thinking of a convincing lie to tell Cadeson all morning, and he settled on telling him that some of the avatar drivers went full native and, led by Jake Sully, destroyed the defense perimeters and took everyone hostage, but not before destroying most of their security equipment and executing Miles Quaritch as a warning. He had run his story by a few other of the sub-administrators that were with him on Pandora, and most said it checked out.

"Well, the AVTR program went b-"

"Don't fucking lie to me." Cadeson said, pointing a finger at him. "I had the good sense to monitor your communications, and I heard _all_ about the little story you cooked up for me. I want the truth, from you."

"Quaritch." he blurted, bringing out his trump card.

"What?"

"It was Quaritch. He...he went completely insane. Starting raving about how the natives were planning an attack on the base. I tried to reason with him, but he just ignored me and got our whole air force to attack some big tree. It was sacred to the natives or some shit. Next thing I know, banshees are flying into Hell's Gate, and we're getting forced into a shuttle at gun point."

The CEO leaned back in his chair, considering Parker's words. He got out of his chair and walked over to the tinted window, looking out as he adjusted it slightly to get a very dim view of the city.

"Parker. Your job was as follows: Keep a profit, keep the dog on the leash, and don't piss off the natives."

He turned around with a looked of barely suppressed fury on his face.

"The way I see it, 3/3 is good, 2/3 is bad, and 1/3 is_ fucking up royal_!" he screamed. "What happened to using the avatar team, huh? You know, gain the Na'vi's trust? Slowly make them see things our way? Did you really have to just roll in and reduce the native's home to fucking matchsticks?"

Parker slammed his hands on the table, shaking it. "Quaritch said he'd be humane! I had no idea he'd-"

"You fucking _listened_ to that psychopath? Couldn't you have been a little more patient, waiting until Josh or Jake or whatever the hell that jarhead's name was had been part of their clan for a few weeks before deciding to flatten everything? Instead of doing that, we get _this." _the CEO bellowed before fumbling for a remote, pressing a button on the device which activated the large display screen that completely covered one wall of the conference room.

Parker cringed as he recognized the footage: the destruction of the Hometree. He had been praying to God that nobody had taken a recording home with them, but karma had decided otherwise. Selfridge looked away as he saw the rockets hit the roots of the massive plant, and Cadeson flipped the screen off. The business man walked over to one of the chairs, sat down, and leaned back.

"Ever since _that_ got out," he started as he motioned towards the blank screen, "hiring rates have plummeted. People are just flat-out refusing to work for us. Half. **HALF** of the people who were in the employ of this company that had doctorates have resigned, and I've had more death threats against me in the past week than a third-world dictator does in an entire year!"

Cadeson laughed in spite of the bad news.

"We're not recovering from this. Ever. Our stock is falling like a friggin' brick. We'll be damned lucky if we don't end up declaring bankruptcy by the end of the decade."

He leaned forward to Parker, sitting at the opposite end of the table.

"So, Mr. Selfridge, how do you explain yourself?"

"Sir." he mumbled, "I, uh, we tried working with the natives, but they wouldn't listen. Most of the time they'd attempt to kill us when we tried talking to them."

"Uh huh." the CEO replied.

It was the best reaction he'd gotten out of his boss so far. He'd roll with it. "Yeah. They tied Grace and Jake up to poles and everything right before Quaritch destroyed their home."

"Mmmhm. I'm assuming this was some time _after_ you personally ordered the closing of Dr. Augustine's school? Because if I remember correctly, attacks on avatars stopped pretty soon after Dr. Augustine started teaching the natives English. I'm sure you had a good reason to close that down, too?"

"We, uh, thought Dr. Augustine had improved relations enough to where it was no longer needed. Sir."

Cadeson shook his head. "You thought wrong. You thought horribly, horribly wrong. Listen, I have a press meeting at 12:30, and I'm going to have explain myself to the entire world."

"You want me there?" Parker asked. He never did like the press, but if it meant saving his job, he really had no choice.

"No. I have another plan for you. People are going to be out for blood, so I wanted you here to say that I did it myself." The CEO stood up, took a deep breath, and cracked his knuckles.

"Parker, you're fired."

Selfridge actually felt the wind being knocked out of him by the sheer shocks of the news. He blinked stupidly, and shook his head. He regained his composure quickly. It wasn't _that_ much of a shock, not after what he had done.

"So, when do you want my resignation letter?" he asked in a defeated tone.

"I don't think you understand, Mr. Selfridge. You're fired. As in, terminated for sheer fucking incompetence. Hopefully you'll never manage anything bigger than a sandbox ever again. Now get out of my goddamn office. The security will take you outside." he said as he turned the screen on to the news channel, which was replaying the same video of the Na'vi slaughter.

Parker didn't say a word, and obeyed the words of his former boss as he exited the room. Waiting for him outside were two mean-looking guards. One of them stepped forward.

"Mr. Cadeson says you are no longer welcome on the premises. We're here to escort you out." he said, face stoic.

"Goddamn blue monkeys." Parker muttered under his breath.

* * *

Coincidentally, as Parker was being politely thrown out of a building on Earth, Jake Sully had started laughing on Pandora as he and Neytiri had their bows trained on a hexapede.

_"What's so funny?"_ she asked her mate when the hexapede heard Jake and ran off into the forest.

"I don't know! I just caught the giggles, I guess." he replied in English.

_"__Skxawng." _she said, joining in on Jake's laughter.


End file.
